Do you desire better-behaved kids? I sure do! The 5 benefits of quality time might surprise you. I’m sure you’d agree with me that spending quality time with your kids is a good thing but what are the “scientific benefits” behind it and is it worth your time and energy?

Fortunately, it turns out that quality time is my “love language”. What’s yours? Nevertheless, if quality time isn’t your love language, don’t fret.

 

In this post, I’ll share with you the 5 benefits of quality time

 

But first, let’s check out a few excuses reasons why parents don’t create one-on-one time.

• Not “enough” time. If you’re too busy to connect individually with your child, you’re just too busy. I have a feeling that if you evaluated how you spent your time, you’d be surprised at how much time is spent on unnecessary or less important things.
• “Family time is enough.”  It’s true that family time is good. Nightly dinners around the table, excursions, Family Powows and just playing together leaves a lasting legacy but, quality time is taking it up another whole level. It proves to each individual child that he or she is worth your time and effort.
• “It’s not necessary, they know I love ’em”. Is showing your child that you are willing to give him your time so you can reach into his heart and catch up on the small, private, unobvious details of his life “unnecessary”?
• “It’s inconvenient.” Do you find yourself thinking that it’s too much of a sacrifice of your time, especially when you’d rather be doing other things? After all, those little people will always be there, right? They don’t even know that extra time exists! Family time is not about convenience, it’s about priority. Love equals sacrifice.

 

 

Now onto the good stuff!

 

,

The 5 Benefits of Quality Time

1. Eliminating bad behavior. Yes!!!! I’m sure you know that the main reason children act out is to get your positive attention but inadvertently procure your negative emotions. It’s naturally built into our kids to desire that good attention, acceptance, and approval from us. Without the good stuff, their default is to act out in the flesh. Why not beat them to the chase? Give them positive attention daily.
2. It lets them know they are worth your time. Time is a rare commodity. Do you ever feel like it’s hard to give up some of your time, especially when you feel like your child may not deserve it? Without a doubt, undistracted, one-on-one time shows that you value them. It’s good to feel valued, isn’t it? It sucks to feel like an afterthought. 
3. Quality time will also strengthen your relationship. We need to be present in their lives and build trust. And we build trust by being good listeners. After all, don’t you want to be the person they go to when they need someone to listen to? Not to mention, building a good relationship with you will pour into other relationships as they grow up. 
4. It may be the only private time you ever get with your child. A monthly lunch date or even a 15-minute snack under a tree outside will give your child the opportunity to talk about something private and confide in you. 
5. My favorite part is that I have become my children’s mentor. Becoming their mentor doesn’t happen overnight, but making quality time a routine activity will gain you access to their hearts eventually. When they know that you really enjoy spending time with them, you become their mentor and have an influence on their lives.

 

 

 

Quality Time How-To’s

• Make sure you communicate your expectations by telling your peeps how spending quality time is important to you and you’re going to start making it a part of your lives. 
• Other children are NOT allowed to interrupt. And they will try. Kindly remind them you’re “spending quality time with your sister and your turn will be in… or you’ve already had your turn…” Set up your littles with stuff to do. It’s for 10-15 minutes! Starting with the youngest first might be the best way.
• If you’re new to this, your teen might not take to one-on-one time as well as you hoped. Give it time. You know what’s best for them and reaching into their hearts, little by little, (especially through food) will open up a channel for them to trust you when the need arises.

Don’t inadvertently force them into the world of their peers for answers and advice. I’m not saying your teens are going to barf all their secrets on you. I’m sayin’ that if you’re not giving them your undivided time, they may not think you even want to.

 

“The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.”

 

 

 

Download Our 50 Quick & Easy Quality Time Ideas!

 

 

How To Make Time for Quality Time

1. Set daily phone alarms to help you create this new habit. Homeschooling and running two home-businesses has made it harder to be consistent for me. I’ve had to be very intentional about preserving quality time.
2. Start with 10 minutes a day and add a 5-10 minute bedtime routine where you can chat with them about their “high-lows”. Or just do one 15-minute session. Whatever works for you. 
3. Schedule it into their school schedules, if they homeschool. It was my goal of mine to spend more time with each child, but I had to schedule it in just as I do with other important activities. After our morning lessons, I play with the youngest first and then work my way up. 
4. Honestly evaluate how you spend your time. Cut out or back on time-suckers to make room for your kiddos.
5. Get into whatever they’re into. We’re talking Legos, action figures, Kendama, Rubik’s Cube, card tricks, learning how to play guitar, and hold our breaths underwater to name a few.

Taking it Up a Notch

My husband and I alternate months and bring it up a notch by taking a child out on monthly dates. Sometimes we like to jump into the water and have a sushi picnic on the beach or grab lunch before stopping at Walmart where they use their commission to pick out something fun. But more than anything, they love playing a few games of air hockey at the Fun Factory and then catching a movie. Even going through the car wash is exciting for my littles. 

During these dates, my priority is to reach into their hearts and ask some gentle, probing questions such as…

• what have you been thinking about lately?
• worried about?
• looking forward to?
• unhappy about?
• what makes you feel loved, accepted and appreciated?

Their answers may surprise you. They surprised me. This is how you become your child’s mentor, in a sense, and the person they know will listen to them without being corrected or judged.

Spending time with my kids has created the kind of bond I prayed for and frankly, the “proof is in the pudding.” I’ve made so many mistakes but overall, I have special relationships with my children and we genuinely enjoy being together. They are truly amazing kids.

For more information about quality time, check out an awesome resource that we use called Positive Parenting Solutions.

 

 

 

Conclusion

The 5 benefits of quality time are a game-changer to cultivate better relationships with your children. Time is the greatest gift you can give your family. Spending one-on-one time with your kiddos is a simple, fun activity that has far-reaching results and will make you a happier mama.

If you like this kind of stuff, then check out my post on Family Powwows that involves spending time and teaching life skills with the whole family.